Sooner or later, every parent faces the trauma of Tantrums, and many times, we don’t really know how to react.

Advice from the Experts:

I put this question to the experts at Chiltern House and Julia Gabriel, and this is what Fiona Walker (CEO of Julia Gabriel for Learning, Chiltern House Child Care Centres and Julia Gabriel School of Education) has to say:

Children are Individuals:

The most important thing is to understand your child’s temperament. Some children will have a more fiery character than others. These children may become more easily frustrated and not be able to handle disappointment as well as easy-going children.

If you know this about your child, you can try to minimise situations that could lead to a tantrum.

Remember for a 2 or 3 year old it is all about NOW. It is very hard to explain that you can do this later. For about a year, I would go right out of my way to avoid ride on toys in shopping malls unless I was prepared to stop while my son had a play.

The common age for tantrums is between 18 months and 4 or 5 years old. The older the child the easier it is to reason with them, after their temper has subsided. Remember it is perfectly natural to get angry, but it is how we handle that emotion that is important.

What do I do when they my child throws a tantrum:

Remember to always remain calm!

This is not always easy in the face of a screaming, pulling, red – faced child who is doing everything in his or her power to embarrass you!

Once a child is having a tantrum you can either stand back and let him roar and kick or very calmly pick him up and walk briskly away. You are very unlikely to be able to reason with him or her at that time. Just wait – the storm will pass.

Do not give in to whatever it is that has triggered this. They will very quickly realise screaming and kicking gets them what they want!

Afterwards you can talk about how it is difficult when you really, really want something and don’t get it. It can be comforting for them to know that you understand that.

*End of Interview*

Ed Speaks:

I think that the most difficult thing about these public tantrums is remaining calm and not losing your cool!  That is why Parenting should not be done alone, but with your spouse as well.

There were times when I wanted to relent, but knowing that my wife was there to back me up, gave me the determination to see the ordeal to the end.

When they eventually calm down and receive their hugs and “pep-talk” from Daddy and Mummy, they will understand that throwing a tantrum, is not the answer to their problems. Doing this consistently is an important component in good parenting.

If this interview has been helpful to you, you may want to check out other questions that I posed to the educators at Julia Gabriel/Chiltern House. Fiona has also dealt with questions like Separation Anxiety, the need for Enrichment Classes or click here to see the full list.

This post is Rated R, and it contains content that may be offensive to some readers.

Nathan is half-way through his toilet training programme. He can go diaper-less through the day, and would let his caregivers know when he needs to shishi (pee) or poopoo (poo).

But whenever that happens, it is a race against time to get him to the toilet. Most parents would know that at this stage, the pre-schooler only informs you of his toilet needs when he cannot contain the pee/poo any longer.

Well, last Monday, I was driving Nicole and Nathan to school. Just me and the two kids.

Along the way, Nathan shouted out loud, “Mummy, I need to shishi!”

Oh no! Mummy is driving, we are going to reach school soon. Can you ask the shishi to wait? Let’s ask the shishi not to come out!

(Okok… I know this is silly, but that’s what I always tell them. Address the issue, then distract them. Some parents told me you should just change topic and talk about something else. But I’m so worried, what if they pee when we are talking about Thomas the Train or singing The Wheels of the Bus??!?!?)

Ok. Shishi don’t come out! Shishi, don’t come out!

I drove as fast as I could. It was morning traffic. There was nowhere to stop the car & look for a drain, let alone a toilet!

Mummy, I need to shishi!

I know, I know… we are going to reach school soon. Let’s ask the shishi not to come out first!

Shishi don’t come out! Don’t come out! Mummy, Mummy, my kuku is going to explode!

AHHH! ok, Mummy is driving as fast as I can.

Mummy, if my kuku explodes, I will have a patpat right?

?!?!?!

For readers who are a little lost, in our family, we use baby vocab kuku & patpat for the male and female anatomy respectively. Don’t ask me why, but it certainly seems easier to say then the actual word ya?

In any case, we got to school dry. Nathan rushed in to the toilet, pee-ed his heart out. I was so tickled by his comments, I shared it with some parents. And I learnt new tips about this phase in their lives!

Parenting Tips for Toilet Training your Toddlers

1. Always have a spare pull-up diaper in the car

This works for ALL emergencies! No fuss at all!

2. For boys, STAND AS FAR AS YOU CAN FROM HIM.                                                                                                  

When they reach the toilet, always stand as far as you can from the boys!  Once the pants comes down, he SHOOTS!

A mummy shared that her shoes always get wet when she pulls down her son’s pants!

3.RUN!                                                                                                          

As soon as your child tells you he needs to pee, RUN to the nearest toilet/bush/drain. For all kids, when they tell you they need to go, the pee is probably already close to bursting point!

As an aside, my method of telling the shishi not to come out seems to work! I’ve not had any accidents ever!

But recently, Nicole said she wanted to poo. So I did the usual, “Tell the poopoo not to come out first”. And she answered me…

Mummy, my poopoo has NO EARS!

As your kids hit 18 months, there is a subtle pressure to send your kids for enrichment.

When the kids hit 4yo, there is another surge of pressure to send your kids for even more classes especially on the weekends. From language classes, music lessons, swimming, fencing, phonics, taekwondo, art, speech and drama…the list goes on.

Recently ED Unloaded had an opportunity to conduct an email interview with Fiona Walker (CEO of Julia Gabriel for Learning, Chiltern House Child Care Centres and Julia Gabriel School of Education) and she gives her input on Enrichment Classes for Pre-Schoolers.

1. Are enrichment courses necessary?

Enrichment courses should be just that – a course to enrich and enhance your child’s learning and experiences. The school system here offers a very comprehensive academic programme so if your child has talents or an interest in the arts or sports it is a good idea to allow your child to follow that interest and enrichment courses make that possible.

With young children you may not know where your child’s interests lie. Taking a music class, art class or tennis lessons, for example, for a term then swapping over will help you and your child discover what he or she may wish to pursue.

2. Some pre-schools offer this as part of the curriculum. Is it sufficient?

Generally Nursery age children can find a full preschool curriculum very stimulating so if additional enrichment programmes are built in I would imagine, yes this may be enough for now. You may have heard of a course which is particularly good and engaging but I would limit that to one or two weekly additional classes for young children.

As a parent you will have to judge whether or not your child is being tired out. Dragging a tired or unmotivated child to enrichment classes really can be a waste of your money. Once children are in Kindergarten they are more ready for classes which expand their experiences beyond traditional classroom learning.

3. Is there such a thing as too much enrichment for children?

Definitely! I have known many children with a schedule which would horrify a professional executive. Rushing from school to classes almost 7 days a week. There have been a number of reports on the increase of stress in young children here. I believe this stress is very much a direct result of children being robbed of their childhood and right to free play. By increasing our expectations and packing their schedule from around the age of three, we will actually be producing children who behave like hamsters on a wheel and not creative geniuses.

Children need time to think and use their imagination. Enrichment classes can feed their imagination and help them think creatively but it is no use if they never get the chance to explore and expand on that new knowledge and skill before being rushed off to the next class.

My thoughts?

Well, I would LOVE it if my child could play Bach on the cello, Sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” like Connie Talbot (From America’s Got Talent Fame), Read French with the right accent, and get a fashion spread at Young Parents. And if they could eat their veggies, it would be a nice bonus

But having three kids of such differing personalities, giftings and talents, I realised that exposing them to a wide spectrum of enrichment only makes it more difficult to make a decision! We’ll keep their official structured learning during school hours, anything after, will be based on their interest, likes and wants.

And my vote goes to more Family Time! where after school hours will be spent bonding as a family! We can’t do that together in Ballet or at Art Class, and this definitely can’t be achieved if I spend half the time finding a parking lot at the enrichment centre!

Furthermore, the extra enrichment classes are a real financial strain, and I think that quality time with the kids will be a better option…although I am a bit tempted with the Chinese Language classes, as we don’t speak enough Mandarin at home!

Since young, many of us have been told to eat our vegetables and fruits! Our parents therefore stuffed us with as much apples and oranges, when they could not stuff the vegetables down our throats!

Recently, I was invited to a Media Event by Zespri and I realized that Kiwi fruits have:

• The Vitamin C content of 2 Oranges!
• 95% of the Vitamin C content that you need in a day
• High in Fibre ( which means good for poo-poo)

As compared to Apples, it KOs the apple in terms of nutrition…

In fact, if you want to eat a fruit…U should eat a Kiwi Fruit.

I thought that these facts were really revelational, and a group of Bloggers including myself,  were treated to a live demonstration by Renowned Food Blogger, Dr. Leslie Tay, on how to maximize our Kiwi Fruit Diet.

Besides sharing with us little facts like the Kiwi Fruit first originated from China and not New Zealand, he shared with us his home-made dishes on how to introduce the Kiwi Fruit into our diet.

There were dishes like Kiwi-sago Pudding (ala the familiar Mango Pudding, Kiwi with oolong jelly and even a Traffic Light Smoothie! This drink would have been a hit at Nicole’s Traffic Light Party!

We also got our chance to get our hands dirty, and make the creations for ourselves.

Nicole enjoyed herself making the Kiwi Fruit Honey Bread Sandwiches.

Check out Nicole’s Satisfied Face!

This was also our family’s first time at the Asian Food Channel kitchen, as it was fun, just trying to make all the concoctions that we were taught!

Many thanks to the folks at Zespri and Edelman for inviting us for this event!

Do you remember seeing these posters? I used to see them everyday, as I was growing up Singapore in the 1970s.

But times have changed…and with a Pro-child policy in Singapore, it is a win-win situation to have children!

One of the Perks about living in Singapore is that the government is willing to help lighten the financial costs of bringing up a child.

Just the other day, I was asked by a friend, how much does the government give us in terms of “Baby Bonus” for having a child.

With 3 Kids,  I am supposed to be an expert…Unfortunately this Daddy has to look at the MCYS website to remember the figures…:)

Anyway these are the benefits in store for you:

Your child will enjoy these benefits under the Baby Bonus Scheme from birth till his sixth birthday. The total Baby Bonus benefits are shown in Table 1.

Therefore, in order to maximize your benefits, DO NOT stop at 1 child. Go for the 2nd child and more.

How does the money come?

Er…Don’t expect the stock to bring your Ang-Pow when the baby arrives at the hospital?

When I first became a parent, I thought that I would receive the money in a week’s time.

However, the cash gift is given in 4 is given out in 4 equal installments over 18 months from the birth of your child so that you can use the cash for new expenses arising from your newborn.

Above that, you would still get an ADDITIONAL maximum matching government contribution for your child’s Children Development Account (CDA)! Woopee!

To get the full story, go to this week’s article at Maybe Baby

And before I go…Don’t forget to Vote for me At the Singapore Blog Awards.

Each Person can vote once a day!

As a parent, I just love it  when the kids have a recital or a performance in school. Amazingly, it stirs up a spirit within us to want to see them excel and it’s really heart-warming to see the broad smiles on every parent’s face, as they see their little darlings perform.

This May, Nicole had a Mother’s Day Recital in School! As it was only delivered by kids at her level, it was a smaller and a  more intimate experience. (Check out her other performances here)

The teacher’s really worked very hard at it as well and here is a picture of the banner that greeted us, as we entered the school. Cool right!

The school and classrooms were also decorated by the teachers, to deliver a Fun Party-like atmosphere!

When we entered the music room, there were lots of parents there already. Everyone was armed with a Video cam or a DSLR as we awaited the performance (If u are planning to be a parent, do get one of these optical equipment, as the memories are priceless)

I went to look for the kids before the recital started, and they were excited and ready to go…Check out their excited faces before the performance.

Nicole delivered a song and dance performance in Mandarin, and it was really touching, as our little princess sang with all her heart. She definitely gave her BEST and Daddy and Mummy were so proud of her. 

In fact, All the daddies and Mummies were so proud of their kids, that they were snapping like crazy. I thought that I was at a celebrity press launch!

Mummy who was the star of the show, was proud of her little princess!

After the performance, we also got to see Nicole play the piano, as she performed some of the items that she learnt in her music class.

The song items included movement and dance into the music recitals as well. (Nicole likes the dancing!)

The whole family was there as well. Grandma was especially proud of her little Maestro!

Nicole also played tour guide and showed us around her classroom.

And of course, no party will be complete without FOOD!

Looks like the kids were enjoying it more than the adults!